I've been published...sort of:)

Here's a link to an article I wrote last year...it's finally made it's way to the world wide web. It's weird reading something that I wrote so long along, it still feels very real and accurate:)

Enjoy!!

http://tinyurl.com/ylbzml9

You have a pre-existing condition...no life insurance for you

The past few weeks have been pretty busy in a good way, but the main reason I've been away for so long is that I just didn't know what to say. The coverage of the health care debate has literally given me hot-flashes, it frustrates me to no end. I feel completely powerless. Even when I was going through treatment for Ovarian Cancer I felt like I had power. Yes, cancer was attacking my body...but I still had my mind and where my body was failing me, I could always rely on my mind to catch me when I fell.

We definitely need REFORM, there's no question about that. Prime example---I received a call yesterday from an insurance broker regarding my business. His records showed that I had recently started a small business and he wanted to know if my insurance needs had been met. I let him know that I had business insurance and health insurance(if my husband loses his job, then that's another story). He then asked about life insurance...annoyed that I'm not eligible for life insurance, I seized the moment...I took out my frustration on him. I let him know that I'm not eligible for life insurance because I have a pre-existing condition, his response..."oh okay, thank you so much". Unbelievable....

Deep down I know that the passing of the health care bill was historical. I also know that it's the furthest we've ever got in the movement. I know all of this, yet I still feel defeated. My concerns lie with the concessions we had to make to get there. Anyone with pre-existing conditions should be eligible for affordable/quality health care. You should still be able to feed your family and put a roof over their heads without worrying about how you're going to afford health care coverage. Children with pre-existing conditions will be eligible for heath insurance without being discriminated against once the bill becomes active, adults will have to wait a few years and in the interim they will be placed into a high-risked pool with other's just like them. If you do not have insurance, you will be required to purchase it at an affordable rate and family's who meet certain income levels will be eligible for a tax credit to help offset the cost. Last I checked, many of us are living paycheck to paycheck and are one check away from poverty. Where is this extra money coming from to purchase "affordable quality insurance"?

The argument that people die waiting for medical attention in the UK and Canada as a reason why we shouldn't have a public option doesn't fly with me. Mainly because people die while waiting for medical attention here in the US as well, but people seem to turn a blind eye to that. Maybe people turn a blind eye because the majority of people affected by this happen to be people who don't have advocates, people who live below the poverty level...people who aren't deemed a valuable part of our society.

Here's a link to the White House website where they've provided details on the reform and what it will mean to us...

http://www.whitehouse.gov/health-care-meeting

Check it out, education is power and keeping ourselves educated helps to control the rumor mill!! I have no problem with those who share their opinion, we're entitled to do that and guess what, our opinions don't have to match our neighbors and we can still get along. That's the beauty of free speech! What bothers me is when people share their opinion, present it as gospel, and haven't done a bit of homework to educate themselves. That's when the hot-flashes kick in and I stop listening.

Memory Lane...

Yesterday I took a trip down memory lane, literally and figuratively. After FINALLY seeing the movie "Precious", which if you haven't seen it...I suggest you do. It was both amazing and disturbing. Above all, It delivered with some of the best performances of the year! Okay, back to my trip down memory lane...We brought our house 3 years ago this month, newly married, pre-cancer and back when l thought I was invincible. There was a house we looked at and came close to buying(in my husbands mind only)...we decided to try and find that house. Don't ask me how but we found it, I guess my memory isn't as bad as I thought it was and the days of blaming chemo brain appear to be over:) I won't go into details, but let's just say this. We are all where we should be in life and there's a reason we didn't settle on that house...what a nightmare that would have been. The one thing i will say is, it's a AMAZING how different a place can change in 3 years. We almost doubled back a few times because things were quite different. We had a lot of "I don't remember that building, that wasn't here" moments.

Keeping in line with revisit the past Saturday, someone how I ended up in a conversation with my BFF about D DAY aka DIAGNOSIS Day...every time I think back to that day it brings back a flood of emotions. But what it also does is keep me grounded and appreciative for all that I have. After Dan(the grim reaper) broke the news, I remember my friend April calling while I was still groggy and out of it, yet I remember telling her it was cancer and asking her if she could she please call Tasha (the BFF I referred to earlier and tell her)...see talking to Tasha would have made the situation so much worst...I knew she wouldn't handle it well and that was something I couldn't deal with at the time. Yesterday we laughed about just how well she didn't handle it and although not funny at the time, it feels good to revisit that time with a much lighter attitude!!!

Running towards the future...sort of

Are you cranky, moody, afraid to place one foot in front of another? Scared to commit to things or events a day away, a week away and let's not even discuss a month away? Do you find yourself using the future of your health as a direct correlation between things that manifest in your life and things that don't? If you've answered yes to any of these questions it confirms that you suffer from "It's Check-up Time, OH PLEASE LET IT BE GOOD NEWS" syndrome. This is how I handle my check-ups. While I'm making tremendous progress in the area of LIVING everyday, the days leading up to my check-up are still a work in progress. For instance, I've been trying to secure something for work that would take my business to the next level...when it didn't come through...I went there. Yes, you know where...to the place of no return. I rationalized the fact that things didn't come through because Mr. Recurrence was waiting for me just around the corner. When will I stop doing that? When will Mr. Recurrence take a hike once and for all?

Even at my appointment yesterday, I couldn't control my blood pressure. I never can. Just getting on the scale stresses me out and to make matters worst...just as I was getting on the scale the lab girl blurts out that my CA125 was 6. Seriously!! Those are the words every woman who's had Ovarian Cancer wants to hear, yet I wasn't ready for them...not knowing whether to laugh or cry...I simple ran up my blood pressure...Unbelievable!!. This my friends is what happens when you leave me alone with my thoughts. They runaway from me. If I'm really lucky, I can catch them before they cause serious bodily harm to me or anyone in my path.

Nothing is promised to any of us, yet those of us with "pre-existing conditions" work hard to put our past behind us and and run towards our future. I'm getting my track shoes on now...

Another check-up down, I'll see you in June!!!