Birthday's take on a whole new meaning when you experience something as devastating as a cancer diagnosis. I remember being so excited to reach 10, because that meant I was now in the double digit club. 13 meant that I was OFFICIALLY a Teenager. 16, well we all know that every girl dreams about their "sweet 16", although I didn't have a party, I still felt that along with 16 came some rite of passage. After-all, on all of the shows I grew up watching, from The Brady Bunch to The Cosby Show--16 was a milestone, it was the age you could date, get your ears pierced, wear make-up...you know those things that scream "I'm a woman now"....18 gave me the right to vote, 21 the right to have the drink of my choice, 25 meant I was half way to the big 3-0, and 30...well after that I kind of stopped counting.
My 36th birthday was on Thursday and I'm back to counting. Instead of counting towards the big 4-0, I'm counting away from the big C. I was diagnosed at the age of 33 with Ovarian Cancer, six weeks before my 34th Birthday. So this is officially my 3rd birthday after diagnosis. Never in a million years would I have guessed that this would be my life at 36. The best thing about life at 36 is that I'm aware and more thankful and grateful for every day I have here on earth. For the people who surround me and love me for who I am. Sometimes I sit and watch people who supposedly have it all. The husband, house, kids, dream job & car. I watch in amazement as these same people still find something to complain about. How is that possible?
Earlier today I caught a little bit of "Extreme Home Makeover"...you know the one that no matter how hard you try, you can't watch with out shedding enough tears to remove a drought. A little girl had been writing the show forever, begging for help for her family of 7 who were forced to leave their home and live in a hotel room because of toxins that were found in their home. She prayed and she prayed, and at times she wanted to give up. She told her mom that part of her felt that God just didn't care about them.
I understand her , probably more than someone who hasn't experienced a loss or traumatic event. Every year that I'm blessed with another birthday I'm reminded that no matter what, we have to stay faithful and positive. We have to stay committed to our journey and the road we are traveling. No it's not easy, but what is? I still have my moments of despair, but that's okay. I may not have everything I want in life, but I have everything I need.
So here's to another birthday and to being open and receptive to the blessings that are bestowed upon me everyday.
6 comments:
I think even without a cancer diagnosis, we would have moments of despair. They would just be different ones - things that now, we accept, deal with and don't stress about, because the cancer puts things in perspective. In that respect, we are lucky. In others, not so lucky. But we press on.
Only 36...and wise beyond your years ;o)
big hug Kia.
x
Happy Birthday, indeed! I figure if I have to deal with cancer I will deal with it still loving God and still having Him love me. We each have different roads to walk. And we thank Him for that road. No matter what! May you have decades of birthdays ahead of you. Blessings!
I hope you continue to be as inspiring and positive when you are 5, 10 and 15 Birthdays beyond diagnosis!! Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Very Powerful words Kia! I am so proud of you and I gain strength and wisdom every time I hear you speak.
Little did you know 3 years ago how your courage would help so many people, your dad being the most recent example. Happy 3rd birthday and Never before has it meant so much to say "Many More".
Thanks Everyone!!
Happy Belated Birthday!
Yes do celebrate each and every one as they truly are a gift.
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