Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Looking beyond cancer...

Wow! It's been ages since I've written, let alone had time to write.

I've got a lot of GOOD stuff happening for me right now. I can't spill the beans just yet, but let's just say this...IT FEELS GOOD TO BE BACK!!! I will be able to share more about it later...right now it takes everything I have to wrap my brain around and process it myself.

I moving forward and beyond cancer, yet the thought of that monster sneaking up on me again remains prevalent. Most days, I'm able to push pass my negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Occasionally those thoughts get the better of me. I think of how annoyed and pissed off I'd be if it reared it's ugly head and interrupted all of the goodness that's coming my way!!

My thoughts are always with my sisters who are still battling this disease. Please keep them and anyone who is suffering in your thoughts and prayers. My prayer list is getting pretty long, sometimes I fall asleep before I can get them all out. I know that GOD knows what's in my heart, so he listens even when I can vocalize what I'm feeling.

I promise to do a better job of keeping up with my blog. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I don't want to forget my journey or my mission to spread awareness. I've got some time management skills to work on(never been my strong suit even before cancer whacked me in the head)...I'm a work in progress, bare with me!!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Genetic testing and me...

I have no idea how this is going to turn out, but I know that I made the right decision, the right decision for me.

Yesterday I had my blood drawn for the Brac Analysis Testing. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, it's a genetic test for hereditary breast and ovarian cancer. I have no history of breast or ovca besides my great auntie on my father's side who had breast cancer, however I'm concerned that I was diagnosed with OVCA at the age of 33 and that I have a history of cystic breast.

Before they run my blood, the company that does the genetic testing will have to check with my insurance company to make sure that they will cover the cost. If they choose not to(which wouldn't surprise me at all considering how insurance company's are), I will probably let sleeping dogs lie. There's no way I could afford to pay thousands of dollars at this point, so I'll just have to pray on it:)

What happens if I'm positive? I really can't say. I've already had OVCA so my biggest concern besides a possible recurrence would be breast cancer. I don't know if I'm the type of person who would choose to have an elective mastectomy. There's a part of me that feels certain that I would and then there's the part of me that is annoyed that I would even have to contemplate a decision like that. Isn't one cancer enough to deal with? I think so, but as I learned very quickly, I am not in control of this journey.

I wish more monority women would face their issues head on. There's no reason why we aren't benefiting from resources like the Brac Analysis to help us with early detection, ultimately saving our lives. I wish more doctor's were proactive in educating minority women about their options. The disparities in healthcare are a gap that we have to bridge. I'm sure I sound like a broken record to those of you who follow my blog, but until I see the numbers changing and more people taking control of their health, a broken record is what I'll be.

As far as my pending genetic test goes, what I can say is that I'm not going to worry about it. No need to put the cart be before the horse(I'm full of old adages this entry). Cancer has given me the strength to do things I've never dreamed of. My biggest concern of the day use to be what I was going to have for lunch. Thankfully, I'm slowly reconnecting with that person and it feels good!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Ovarian Cancer who???

When I first entered the room there wasn't an empty chair in sight. If I didn't know better, I would have thought that I had just stumbled upon the biggest sale of the year at Macy's. Once I was finally able to sit down, I made friends with the nicest women, she's battling stage 4 Ovarian Cancer and she's doing really well. She's on her second recurrance and just looking at her, you'd never be able to tell that she was on any form of chemo.

By the time I entered the lab to have my vitals taken, my blood pressure was sky high!! There is something about that office on check-up day that just doesn't sit well with me. I've tried meditating and the who's who of deep breathing activities, all to no avail. About an hour after I arrived for my check-up I was ushered to the back where my sheet and chilly table top awaited me. The nurse who ushered me in must have been new as she attempted to give my chart a quick once over whilst asking me questions, I'm guessing in an attempt to expedite the reading of the chart. "You're not on chemo are you?" I kindly told her nope, that was in my past and that's no longer a part of who I am. A few months ago, I would thought that was an omen...not this time. I simply corrected her and proceeded to get undressed.

The good doctor came in moments later, completed my exam, looked over my latest CA125 and announced that all was right with me and the world. You can't see me, but I'm doing the happy dance!! And that sound you hear, is a big sigh of RELIEF!!