Running towards the future...sort of

Are you cranky, moody, afraid to place one foot in front of another? Scared to commit to things or events a day away, a week away and let's not even discuss a month away? Do you find yourself using the future of your health as a direct correlation between things that manifest in your life and things that don't? If you've answered yes to any of these questions it confirms that you suffer from "It's Check-up Time, OH PLEASE LET IT BE GOOD NEWS" syndrome. This is how I handle my check-ups. While I'm making tremendous progress in the area of LIVING everyday, the days leading up to my check-up are still a work in progress. For instance, I've been trying to secure something for work that would take my business to the next level...when it didn't come through...I went there. Yes, you know where...to the place of no return. I rationalized the fact that things didn't come through because Mr. Recurrence was waiting for me just around the corner. When will I stop doing that? When will Mr. Recurrence take a hike once and for all?

Even at my appointment yesterday, I couldn't control my blood pressure. I never can. Just getting on the scale stresses me out and to make matters worst...just as I was getting on the scale the lab girl blurts out that my CA125 was 6. Seriously!! Those are the words every woman who's had Ovarian Cancer wants to hear, yet I wasn't ready for them...not knowing whether to laugh or cry...I simple ran up my blood pressure...Unbelievable!!. This my friends is what happens when you leave me alone with my thoughts. They runaway from me. If I'm really lucky, I can catch them before they cause serious bodily harm to me or anyone in my path.

Nothing is promised to any of us, yet those of us with "pre-existing conditions" work hard to put our past behind us and and run towards our future. I'm getting my track shoes on now...

Another check-up down, I'll see you in June!!!