Ramblings and rants from an OVCA survivor...

I had the wonderful opportunity to get together with my some of my favorite women today, fellow OVCA survivors. I almost didn't make it, as procrastination has become a real enemy of mine. I've known about this lunch for weeks, yet without failure, I insist on waiting to the last minute to get ready. I'm glad I made it. Being in such good company makes this disease a lot easier to handle. We're all in various stages with our journey, which can be both good and bad. Good because there's always someone to draw strength or seek advice from. Bad because, you always wonder, am I next? Every ache and pain brings forth so many concerns that most people don't have. In addition to trying to get back to normal, us survivors spend a lot of time trying to outrun that big bad monster, "RECURRENCE". Recurrence means that you begin the fight all over again and whether it's with additional surgeries or treatment, you've got to be ready to fight the good fight.

I heard about the passing of two wonderful women today, I'm praying for the families of those women. I want their families to know that I won't stop speaking and screaming from the top of my lungs about this ridiculous disease that does not discriminate...

Let's get this health care situation right. Whatever your political preference, know that you or someone you love may find themselves in a position one day where their well being or survival could depend on what kind of coverage is offered to those who are under insured. Personally, I don't care if you raise my taxes...if it means that my neighbor will be okay, have at it! My major concern with the health care reform is that it is user friendly. Meaning, everyone will know how to access it and use it with out a 52 page map. If it's not user friendly, why bother?

Man In the Mirror...

I spent some quality time this morning with MJ, you know him... the gloved one. I've heard "Man in the Mirror" about a million times and I know that some of Mike's lyrics are pretty profound, yet this morning I couldn't get enough of it... Sometimes we get so caught up in the grand gestures that people seem to respond so well to, we fail to realize that everything in life starts with baby steps. We've got to be the change we want to see...It starts at home, it starts with the man in the mirror.

"Man In The Mirror"
I'm Gonna Make A Change,For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,Gonna Make A DifferenceGonna Make It Right . . .
As I, Turn Up The Collar On MyFavourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,With Not Enough To EatWho Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To SeeTheir Needs
A Summer's Disregard,A Broken Bottle TopAnd A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other OnThe Wind Ya' Know'Cause They Got NowhereTo Go
That's Why I Want You To Know
I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To ChangeHis Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The WorldA Better Place(If You Wanna Make TheWorld A Better Place)Take A Look At Yourself, AndThen Make A Change
I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With NoHome, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,Pretending That They're Not Alone?
A Willow Deeply Scarred,Somebody's Broken Heart And A Washed-Out Dream(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern OfThe Wind, Ya' See Cause They Got No PlaceTo Be
That's Why I'm Starting With Me

Lauren Taylor McGowan

Mom & Lauren Taylor

Truth be told, I didn't know how I would feel. I love my best friend, so if the universe was aligned(as we'd all like it to be), I would with-out question love her newborn baby girl as well.

I've made peace with my journey, but like any woman who's had their right to bear children taken away from them, there are times when I still can't understand how I got to this place. Sure, I joined the cancer club, kicking and screaming the whole way as most people do, but how I got there is no longer the issue. It's how do I work through and process everything that comes along with this not so cheap membership.

INTRODUCING...Lauren Taylor

My best friend isn't the first person to have a baby in my immediate circle and odds are she won't be the last. Does that make it an easier pill to swallow? Some days it does, some days it doesn't. But such is life and I have a GOOD life. I'm here, alive and well. Things get better every day and when in doubt I'm reminded of how much worst things could be and that for me is really what keeps me moving.

My newest angel, Lauren Taylor McGowan made her debut on August 8th 2009. Her middle name is an ode to me, as my full name is Kia Riddick-Taylor. I'm honored that Tasha and her husband Joe wanted their daughter to have a piece of me to carry with her throughout life. I'm super glad that my married name is universal name. It works as a first, middle, and last name equally great. I LOVE the fact that there's is a new baby in my life that I can spoil and love(without the around o'clock feedings and diaper changes). The jury reached it's verdict pretty fast on this one ...I'm DEFINITELY in love as it should be:)

Dad & Lauren Taylor

FINALLY...My magazine debut...

It's been months since my big "photoshoot", you remember the one where the photographer joined me at my monthly luncheon for Ovarian Cancer survivors, a great treat organized every month by The Ovarian Cancer Alliance of FL. For those of you just joining my blog, I'll give you a brief recap of that magical day. After channeling my inner America's Next Top Model all thoughout lunch, the photographer then followed me home to catch some shots of Dan and I, kind of like something you'd see in "Ladies Home Journal"...shortly before the shoot I was interviewed for this same article where the writer would ultimately tell my story in an "as told to" format...which reads as if I'm speaking/writing in first person. The article would appear in the July issue of "All You Magazine", a magazine that you can only find in Walmart. I'm all for anything that creates awareness for OVCA, like many of you...that's my number one goal and the only way I can make since out of this dreadful disease. This article does just that! It creates awareness for the disease and reiterates that this disease does not discriminate!


Sounds good, right? A win win for all...sort of...


I say sort of, because although I'm pleased about the awareness Ovarian Cancer is getting, I don't feel like the article captures the true essence of who I am and how I've navigated my journey.

For starters, the article states that the hardest thing for me to process was the fact that I had to have a hysterectomy. For anyone who's a regular reader, you know that's simply not the case. I won't lie, the idea of having a hysterectomy at the age of of thirty-four totally sucks. No kids, instant menopause, and sleepless nights all thanks to my lack of ovaries...ovaries that I've had for over thirty years and as I told one class of nursing students that I recently spoke to, the WORST part is the fact that I had to contend with horrible periods for over twenty years...now where's the justice in that!

I've said it once and I'll say it again, my hysterectomy was the EASIEST decision I ever made, as it was a matter of life or death and I CHOSE life. For ME it was the only decision. The article made it seem like my whole world was wrapped up in having children and a family of my own. I'm a smart, strong, confident woman and above all else I know that a family is what you make it.

The article also mentioned how I'd cry for days on end when I had treatment...yes, I admit tears would start out of no where, as chemo made me pretty emotional...but crying for days on end, even if I wanted to...Dan would never let that happen...not on his watch anyway:)

I wrote an e-mail to the lovely woman who interviewed me, not to complain or bitch...but to thank her for bringing OVCA to the limelight and to voice my concerns over some of the articles contents. She completely understood where I was coming from and although she did her best, once the piece leaves her hands it goes through a vigorous editing process, from there it's all out of her control. Having worked in the entertainment industry for years, I too know how these things work. Maybe I was too positive for someone dealing with such a hideous illness, maybe the idea of a young, newly married woman, struggling with the fact that her right to have children had just been taken away from her, would sell a few more magazines...who knows. I just know that I owed it to myself, my readers, and anyone out facing the same situation to speak up and speak out.

As soon as I can figure out a way to upload the article, I will...

*Okay-Here I am again, I think I got it. I had to upload the pdf to a media share sight, when you click on it it will take you to the file, from there you will be able to read it(hopefully)

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=4853ac6c7e15c38ee7ba8e3c6e11ce20e04e75f6e8ebb871