Teal Time...taking control of cancer

Yesterday, September 5th was the 3rd annual "Teal Time", a day when everyone was asked to wear teal in an effort to create awareness for Ovarian Cancer. My hubby and I did our part, as you can see from the pics I've included. We looked like tourist at Disney world, which is actually pretty close to where we live. It is the hope of many woman that we can make the color teal as synonymous with Ovarian Cancer as pink is with Breast Cancer. Don't be sad if you missed yesterday's teal, you still have a chance to join in every Tuesday for the rest of September.

You'll see from the picture's that my hair is starting to grow back. It's kind of a tight curly fro, I'm trying to go without a relaxer as long as I can...we'll see how that works out. Once it starts to grow, it moves pretty fast. I went from looking like Yoda to looking like Angela Davis in a matter of weeks:)

Before I was diagnosed I had shoulder length hair. I had been growing it out for a year or so,before then I use to wear it very short and sassy. Truth is I go back and forth, especially when I see someone sporting the opposite of what I have at the moment.

All of the literature I read after my diagnosis said that one way to take control of the cancer was to cut your hair before it starts to fall out. Not ALL chemo will take your hair out. However, the two types that I had(Taxotere and Carboplatin) were not the exception. One of the first things my doctor told me after telling me I had to have chemo was that I would DEFINITELY lose all of my hair.

While sitting in my first chemo, I called my hairdresser to schedule a cut for the next day. I had no idea what side effects chemo would give me, but I knew that I didn't want to see my hair shedding in the shower or laying on my pillowcase when I woke up. My hairdresser speaks Spanish and a handful of English, so I'm not sure she understood what I was saying as I screamed into the phone...I HAVE CANCER, I HAVE TO HAVE MY HAIR CUT!
Armed with my best friend by my side, I walked into the hairdresser the day after chemo to take control...although I was groggy and sleepy I proceeded to explain my story. Next thing I know, the waterworks are flying and my stylist is ushering me in the back. She sat me down and proceeded to pray for me. So now here I am crying harder and harder.

All I can say is thank goodness my friend was there(thanks Tasha). I was in no shape to carry on with my movement. Tasha explained what I wanted done(of course this is all secondhand information, I heard none of this) and my hair cut was complete.

I want to say thank you to a anonymous woman. When I turned to pay my hairdresser, she let me know that someone in the shop had already paid my bill. A woman who didn't know me, but had heard my story paid my bill. A life changing, heart wrenching day, was brought to a close by the beautiful gesture of a complete stranger.

Stand UP 2 Cancer and more....

There's so much going on in my brain right now. There was once a time...actually just a week ago...when I thought I wouldn't have enough to say on this blog. Now I've got so much to say, I can't figure out what to write down first.

So here goes...

Tomorrow, Friday September 5th all three major networks will air "STAND-UP 2 CANCER" simultaneously, starting at 8pm est. It's a star studded event to help raise awareness of this senseless disease that claims the life of 1 person every minute of the day, 1500 people a day. 1500 of our son's, daughters, mother's, father's, and children die everyday. As Charlie Gibson put it this morning, we spend more money on checking purses and shoes at the airport than we do on Cancer research. Before you get started, I truly believe that we should invest money in keeping our country safe and we should do whatever it takes to make that happen. I think in some instances, like airport security we need to be willing and able to revisit the situation and assess whether or not we still need the same measures to support that cause. I know it's easier said than done but we have to figure out how to distribute funding so that no one is slighted. The main reason behind Stand Up 2 Cancer is that we are so close to a breakthrough and cure for cancer, but with limited funded, less and less everyday...we're never going to get there. We'll be taking great strides, BACKWARDS!

This brings me to my next dilemma.

As I've said before, my mission is to spread awareness of Ovarian Cancer. It's also my mission to bring awareness of this disease as well as others to the attention of the underprivileged people in our society who are being left for dead due to the disparities in health care. It's great that we are educating more and more people each day, but how do we get these people to take notice and follow up with a visit to their doctor? How do we get people who don't have insurance to trust the "system". People who are willing to deal with all of the aggravation that comes along with trying to get equal and fare attention and treatment from qualified health professionals. That's the question I don't have answers to. Yes there are free clinic's and emergency rooms that some people(I won't name names) actually think is the answer to it all. Funny, because just a few months ago a woman ended up dead on an emergency room floor in Brooklyn while waiting endless hours to receive care. What do we say to people like that? What do we say to their families?

I'm frustrated. I feel guilty. Guilty because I was fortunate enough to have a two-three week wait between the discovery of my mass and surgery to remove it. Followed by chemotherapy shortly thereafter. The prompt attention and swift call to action its the reason I am here today. How do I convince other women that they have the same chance with early detection and quality treatment? I'm not sure I can.

Moving on after cancer...

For some it's easier said than done. I just came back from my Dr.'s appointment, it was the 8 week follow-up after my hysterectomy. I had blood drawn to check my CA-125 level(a blood test that's used to detect the presence of cancer in your body). Normal range is from 0-35, if that comes back all-clear, I see the Doc in 3 months. Wow, 3 months without worrying if and when the other shoe is going to drop. I've been out of chemo for almost 6 months and although it gets easier to proceed with your everyday life, you can't help but reminded that there is a big fat TEAL elephant in the room. Can we ever really move on?

I will say this...I think about cancer less and less each day. When I was first diagnosed and going through treatment it was all I could think about. Your life and unfortunately the lives of those who care for you become consumed with it. I still think about it, but little by little I find myself planning and looking forward to the future. Getting back to work, becoming the best OVCA advocate I can be, adopting kids...getting on with my wonderful life. But along the way, you can't help but to think about those who have lost their lives to this senseless disease. People you know, many who you don't...but who nonetheless meant the world to someone of this earth. Sometimes you feel guilty. Why were you the chosen one and not them? They call it survivors guilt. Here I am, laughing and joking at the Dr's office, enjoying the taste of yummy food afterwards, and taking in the view of my "new" curly hair when that person you sat next to in chemo is no longer here.

When you're going through treatment you know where you stand. You know how many rounds of chemo you have to have, you know what days you have to have your blood work completed...there's a plan, a schedule, a purpose. A once independent and ambitious person, suddenly finds them self looking for direction, acceptance, and approval. When does it ever feel like cancer was apart of your journey and not something that defines you?

September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month!

September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month!

I'm proud to be a part of this sisterhood. I've met an amazing group of women who share in the fight to beat this disease. To all of the advocates, Doctor's, and nurses who make our journey just a little easier I say thank you and god Bless you!