The ultimate guide to dealing with a cancer patient...

It's been a year since my last chemo and although I'm rapidly shedding the exterior label of a cancer patient I still get the "look" when people learn about my battle with Ovarian Cancer. Lets face it, Ovarian Cancer is a dreadful disease, I'm 35 and African-American. I don't look like Ovarian Cancer. So with that combination, the "look" is inevitable. And as much as I hate it, I can relate to the look, as it wasn't too long ago where the only thing I knew about cancer was what I saw on Lifetime TV.

So as I've just established, the looks aren't going to go away. And they shouldn't, they're a natural reaction to devastating news. The questions is, how do we move pass the look? There are a million resources out there that offer suggestions to cancer patients on how to take control of their disease. How about a few tips for those of you on the other side, friends and family who struggle with doing/saying the "right" thing.

1. Don't be afraid to admit that you don't know what to say or do. Odds are, you've never dealt with anything like this, so how would you know?
2. Take a cue from the patient, see where they want to take the conversation. For me, there are days when I want nothing to do with cancer, then there are days where it consumes my every waking moment.
3. Phone calls and e-mails are great, but if we don't call you back right away take no offense, we know you're there, we just might not be up to chatting. This is not an excuse to stop calling or writing, check in every now and then...when we come out of our fog, you're first on our list!
4. Don't forget that a cancer diagnosis last longer than a week. We have a long road ahead of us and things tend to go silent after the immediate fanfare. We need support throughout our entire journey.
5. If you're in the neighborhood bring by a meal. Caregivers have a lot on their plate and a day when they don't have to worry about cooking is always a good day. Don't ask just do it!
6. Offer to accompany someone to treatment or a doctor's appointment. Again, our care-givers can really use a day off and these little gestures go a long way.
7. Don't treat cancer like the elephant in the room. It's there, it's real...acknowledge it! It doesn't bite and you can't catch it by talking about it.
8. Don't miss out on an opportunity to share an incredible journey with someone you care about.
9. Knowledge is power! Do us a favor, educate yourself and other's.
10. Keep us in your prayers, the more prayers the better!

Bonus**If you're looking for some great gifts to send to someone who's sick, visit http://www.outofthebluedelivered.com/. Check out the cancer patients section, this site is well worth the click!!