Good News!!

I had my long awaited 3 month check-up today and all is well..still kicking cancer's butt!! My next appointment is in March. I did pretty well with the whole nerves thing, that is until I approached the hospital...that huge "Cancer Institute" sign that you can see a mile away is pretty daunting:) No matter how long you've been at it, it's still hard to believe that you have any business what so ever in that building. It' s seriously one of those buildings that you drive by all the time, for most of your life even...without ever having to venture inside.

Before I reached the hospital I made peace with cancer. Actually, a few weeks back I decided that I was going to move forward with everything I wanted to do in life and deal with whatever comes my way when the time comes. The sense of peace it's given me is amazing!! Of course I have amazing people in my life who have played a huge role in my positive outlook. Those who lead by example, yet have no idea what a huge impact that has on those around them.

I'm thankful and grateful to be in such good company.

xoxo

Why I blog...

I'm becoming more and more aware of how increasingly difficult it is for my friends and family to read my blog. It's gotta be hard to know someone so well, yet realize that you may not really know them at all... Having front row access to someones inner-thoughts can leave you victim to an acute case of "over-sharing".

As I've stated before the only way to successfully complete my mission of spreading Ovarian Cancer Awareness is by being honest and hopefully with that honesty I'll be able to reach more people than I ever thought possible. Unfortunately, some of what I have to say can be a little hard to handle for my loved ones. So as I continue to throw caution to the wind, I would like those who know me personally to remember that this is all apart of my journey...a journey to a happier, healthier,me!!

xoxo

Another first...

Where to begin...So I received a phone call today from my very best friend in the whole world. I knew this day would come eventually as I'm pretty sure the world didn't stop just because I had cancer. My friend called to tell me that she's pregnant with her first child. A bitter sweet moment for us all...How would you feel is you wanted to scream from the rooftop that your pregnant...yet you're painfully reminded that your joy, this amazing gift has the potential to bring extreme sadness to someone you care deeply for. I think I would have been alright with the news had my friend not tried so hard to break the news gently. "Breaking the news gently" magnified things to the 10th power. It was a brutal reminder that this is an experience that I will never know. An experience that was taken away from me without any warning. An experience that I will always wonder about, a true what if moment.

I'm sure my friend will be reading this entry, as she usually checks in to catch a glimpse of my inner-thoughts...I know for a fact that she will check in as today was a day of joy, elation, sadness, and lost all wrapped in one. I tried my best to explain to my friend that this is just apart of life, my life..my path. I understand her compassion for me and my situation, but I don't ever want anyone to mask their joy or feel sorry for me. I can't speak for all women in my situation, but I can say this for myself without any doubt...the best way to handle me is to be normal. Don't allow me an opportunity to wallow, don't treat me with kit gloves...I won't break. This method will not work for everyone, but for me I think it's the answer.

What I promised my friend is that it's true, I will have my moment's there's no escaping them...but my moment's would come whether she was pregnant or if any other women I encountered in my travels were pregnant. It's part of life. It's part of being a survivor. There are so many things to grateful for, most of all I'm grateful that I'm of sound mind and body and for me that trumps everything.

I love you girl!! God bless you and your wonderful miracle!!

xoxo

All in due time...

I'm back from my holiday "hiatus". I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving...I believe I brought back a cold from up north...I'm so not use to wearing coat's and going back and forth from hot to cold. It's either a cold or really bad allergies:)

I'm getting ready to go to the Dr.'s office shortly, I have an appointment to get my CA125 drawn(blood-test used as a tumour marker to gage the presence of cancer in your body). Next week is my 3 month check-up, so we have to have those number's in before I see the doctor. My check-up is looming over my head, yet I'm not really nervous about it...I'm probably more anxious than nervous. I'm ready for him to say keep doing what you're doing and I'll see ya in 3 months!!

It's funny, I was talking with a friend today and she made mention of how crazy it was that my life was now filled with Dr.'s appointments and such...It reminded us of how quickly life can change. If it's one thing I've learned from my experience with cancer is that we're resilient. We can adapt to any situation and in time it can become a seamless part of our lives and our day to day routines...At the time that new things are presenting themselves in our world and change becomes inevitable...it feels like something that is so foreign could never become so routine. Yet it does...sure there are days when you still wonder when you made that left turn and got off course...but for me there are many more days when I realize that it's all par for the course...

xoxo