Can a marriage survive cancer?

If your one of my wonderfully loyal and faithful readers then you already know a little bit about my life BC(Before Cancer). If you're new here and a soon to be loyal and faithful reader, I'll get you up to speed...

I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer three weeks before my first wedding anniversary. Not quite the anniversary present I was looking for, but at least I was here to celebrate...this totally rocked our world. All that we knew to be true, we now questioned and how to navigate this new part of our journey would soon reveal itself.

I know a lot of people say that they couldn't have made it through the storm without the support of their significant other. I'm pretty sure I would have made it through, but it wouldn't have been the same. My husband is my biggest fan!! He supports me, but he won't pacify me. Translation~he won't let me fall down the black hole of self pity and despair. I'll admit at times I've uttered a few choice words to him(under my breath of course), but in the back of my mind I knew that he was right. I knew that I was capable of much more than what Ovarian Cancer was trying to dictate. Yes, my parents and friends are an amazing support system...but I can still get away with murder especially when it comes to my dad:) And for parent's, I think it's incredibly hard to watch your child go through a life threatening disease. Children aren't suppose to live this earth before their parent's and when that happens at any age it's so hard to come back from that. So I did my part by remaining upbeat and optimistic when talking to the folks,wanting to spare them as much grief as possible.

Because of this, my husband was privy to all things cancer, be it good, bad, or indifferent. That's hard to process, let alone live with. I always knew we would make it, because I know who we are at our core and as my husband says "nothing is bigger then us". What I've come to realize now that I've come out from under the rock is that a lot of couples aren't able to weather the storm that an illness can bring about. It's life changing and if you've got plans and a direction that you're already heading in, it can be hard to navigate your way through. We all repeat some version of the infamous "in sickness and in health" vow's when we get married, yet for many people those words go right out the window when put to the test.

Honesty was the key for me. Being open and receptive to hearing the other person's point of view was also key. Let's face it, anyone who knows me knows that I can be pretty dramatic at times. So when they outline a list of a hundred "possible" side effects that you can get from chemo, I'm the type that would think that I had them all. My husband's the type of person that doesn't buy into things like side effects. How did we mesh the two worlds? A lot of dialogue, topped off with a little bit of "I told you so":) Things will change, but as in life you have to be open to changing with them. I know this is easier said than done, as I'm still having trouble in this area. Some day's will be great and some day's will feel like you just took twenty steps backwards.

Being able to say, I hear you makes the world of difference. I may not agree with you, but I hear you and as long as you hear me, we're moving in the right direction.